Smaller Bites pt.2

I recently blogged about dangers of those in ministry taking on too much to the detriment of themselves and family. You can read it HERE if you haven’t already. We left off with the fact that the big fish choked to death on the fish it tried to swallow.

An important element to this analogy is not only did the large fish die, so did it’s proposed meal. I imagine the small fish flopped around in the bass’ mouth for quite a while. They obviously both starved to death (since fish don’t breath through their mouths and can’t choke like a human being), so which ever had a real meal last probably outlived the other.

The fact is though that both died. Neither the BITE nor the BITER survived. The same goes for ministry. What good is an overexerted, burned out pastor/teacher/leader to a ministry that needs leadership?

I don’t want the surgeon replacing my heart tomorrow staying up all night playing Halo 3. Just the same, those in ministry can’t be expected or pushed to take on too much. The end result will always be the death of this ministry they are in charge of. Good, long-term ministry is simply not possible from a leader on the edge. Christians have got to keep in mind that at the same time they kill their pastor, they kill their ministry.

So what can be done about all of this?

• pastors must take a firm and appropriate stance on how much ministry will be taken on
• church members must be supportive and protective of this
• church members have to quit questioning their pastors/leaders on this stance
• pastors have to put their family FIRST and the church has to be cool with this
• church members need to take on more responsibility themselves in the church instead of constantly throwing it on the pastor to do
• their needs to be certain types of ministry that just don’t fall on these leader’s plates
• pastors/leaders have to man up and not back down
• church members have to be willing to fight (metaphorically speaking) for their leaders
• “is this really important” is a question churches really need to start asking (i.e. “Do we really need Pastor Bill to start another fundraiser for the finances needed to purchase another life-size statue of Jesus?”)
• churches must focus on what is REALLY important: SHARING JESUS WITH NON-BELIEVERS!!! Not pampering ourselves!

So keep praying for and supporting your pastors, leaders, and teachers. YOU are some of their biggest assets. Don’t let them eat too much fish at once.

Smaller Bites

Saturday I caught my first bass of the spring. It was the biggest of 3 I caught on a buzz bait, if that means anything to you. When I started to leave the ponds I was fishing in, I noticed a rather large dead fish in the water up on the bank.

Like any good pseudo-redneck I took a stick (not my hands) and pulled the bass out of the water. Judging by the head, size of mouth, and remaining flesh (most was eaten away) it was probably a 4-6 pounder (pre-chewage of course).

Upon further inspection, because it looked healthy (no diseased spots), I noticed the crazy part. Inside of its mouth, lodged sideways was a fully intact brim. Apparently this fish (wish I really wish I had caught, pre-chewed of course) choked to death on this little fish. A healthy fish that size doesn’t just die mid-meal. And it isn’t like there are sharks in the water to snatch him like he snatched that brim. Diagnosis: bit off more than he could chew.

(the fish on the right, also dead, is the one that choked the big fella)

Being in ministry, I immediately related this to church ministry. Way too often Full time, part time, and volunteer church leaders bite off more than they can chew in ministry, get it lodged sideways in their lives and spiritually choke to death on it. That is exactly what happens when

• pastors burn-out
• wives give up on their ministerial husbands
• children look for leadership/guidance/love from others who aren’t as busy as their mom or dad
• great volunteers step aside because ministry is taking over life
• all sorts of relationships suffer

When you are in ministry in ANY CAPACITY you have to limit how much you will take on, even if this ticks people off because they think you should be doing more. One thing I resolved to do before ever starting full-time ministry was always focus on my marriage before the church. To always make sure what would be a great ministry decision would also be great for my family. Awesome ministry CAN be a hindrance to a family that wishes you would pay as much attention to it.

My relationship to my wife and future kids is more important to me than any church or ministry I ever serve. Eventually relationships in ministry will fade due to time or leaving a position; students will graduate away form ministry; my own kids someday will marry and move away. After ALL is said and done, I have 2 things: my relationship with Jesus and my relationship with Jennifer. I am never going to be willing to sacrifice either of these for any degree of ministry.

I am not willing to bite off more than I can chew to the detriment of my family. Sadly, too many in ministry have not thought about this, ignore this, or are heading innocently in this direction. I claim to have about 1% of 1% of the answers in life, but one thing I know I did right was to make this resolve after reading this book: Choosing to Cheat, by Andy Stanley. It addresses the fact that, serving in ministry, either your family or your ministry is going to get cheated of your time (actually it is appropriate for ANYONE who has a job and family, not just those in ministry. the 2 WILL collide). There is NO even ground. Both sides will ALWAYS want and expect more of you. Therefore, you better cheat the ministry, because the most important role you will ever hold is that of husband, wife, mother or father. If you fail at those yet succeed in ministry, you are fooling yourself. To fail your family is to fail everything.

Nothing impresses me more than to see/hear someone in ministry use a church members most dreaded word: NO! for the sake of his/her family. You have won me over if you resolve to do less and quit biting off more and more so your family doesn’t suffer.

By the way, if you can’t appreciate the fact that a pastor turned down your ministry idea/request because he didn’t want to be away from his family more than he already is, get over it! You are WRONG! If you get ticked off at him for that you don’t deserve a leader like that. Anyways, quit being lazy and go head up that ministry idea yourself! You must realize that while cramming more and more fish in his mouth you are choking him spiritually and choking his family as well.

If you love those who serve you in ministry, I would heavily recommend buying this book for them, even if they have a great balance between the two. It could never hurt to read this book. PLUS it is a tiny book that you could read in a day or two. I could read it in a day or two and I have the attention span of a 10 year old on the verge of a Halloween candy coma. Anyone can read this and learn from it. Just spend a few bucks, buying your leader(s) a used copy, hand it over and say “I love and appreciate you!” Just tell them a very skilled angler told you to…

Since this blog is already WAAAAAYYYYYYYYY too long, I’ll hold off on the fact that the fish the big bass tried to eat and choked on also didn’t make it….hmmmmmm…..maybe later we’ll discuss that….hmmmmmm…..

KJ-52

I went with a bunch of the other youth guys in town to an artist talk-back at West Cabarrus Church near the speedway.

It was a Charlotte area youth leader appreciation lunch sponsored by Interlinc and YCI. 

KJ-52 was the featured artist and he shared his story, heart, and about his ministry background.  He was an awesome down to earth guy with a real heart to reach teenagers (i.e. why they brought him to the luncheon).  Before he went full-time into his music career he was a youth pastor himself.

Overall it was a cool afternoon hanging out with the guys and being encouraged in ministry.  Plus, they gave us free Chick-Fil-A for lunch. I wish he would have performed some, but it was still a sweet set-up. 

Giving Back

This is a must-read article!  It will only take you a few minutes, but will give you a fresh perspective on how the Church is beginning to shift, look, and serve.  Just being creative is an enormous part of it. 

The Article

Click to check out Steven Furtick’s and Elevation Church’s sites.

Wired 2 Grow

I went to this amazing pastor’s conference yesterday in Burlington, NC called Wired 2 Grow.  It was sponsored by the NC Baptist state convention and hosted by Integrity Church.  Rick McKinley, founding and lead pastor at Imago Dei church in Portland, OR was the keynote speaker.  This guy was awesome-I took about 8 pages of notes. 

He taught a ton about what things the Church must shift in order to stay relevant to culture, missional in reaching people, theologically sound, and spiritually healthy.  All of these things are necessities in the Church and NONE can be sacrificed for the sake of another.  They call for a beautiful marriage that you know is possible just by looking at the very first church. 

One thing (among many) that stuck out to me is just how critical it is for the Body of Christ, that is all Christians, to be reaching out to the people God has naturally put in our lives: co-workers, friends, neighbors, customers, clients, family members, etc.  And we can’t just be trying to get these people to come to church like a used-car salesman.  We must be investing in their lives and developing a genuine relationship, even if years pass before they ever step into a church.  God wants to change our nation, person by person, through Christians who are committed to showing these very people Jesus’ love. 

Acid Test pt.10 (final)

(Acid test for spiritual leadership contd…)

• To be a man who knows how to buffet his own body and bring his sensual and physical sinful nature constantly under control of the Spirit (Rom. 6;  1 Cor. 9).
• To be a man who had a shepherd’s heart, who asks God to put His desires into his heart daily that he may see the sheep through the eyes of God. 
• To be a man of strict impartiality. 
• To be a man that understands that Christian growth is contagious.  That faith begets faith.  A man who’s willing to be a commander-in-chief exhorting the soldiers to fight the fight and run the race.
• To be a man that understands that the authority of the Word of God is his foundation for ministry (Neh. 8:8;  John 8:31-32;  2 Cor. 3:16;  2 TIm. 2:15).

Acid Test pt.9

(Acid test for spiritual leadership contd…)

• To be a man who is so firmly clinging to God that he has no jealousy of rivals.  Therefore, when he is criticized he simply allows God to vindicate his own name.  Remember, God is jealous for the leaders whom He has called, and will relieve them of any necessity to stand up for their own rights. 
• To be a man who understands the art of delegation without abdication.  Yet, who can give people responsibility and give them the freedom to carry it out without breathing down their necks (Ex. 18:25-26).
• To be a man who understands the necessity of raising up leadership that will keep the vision going even when he is gone.  One of the simplest tests of true spiritual leadership is what happens to our ministry when the dominant personality is gone (Acts 5:38-39).  Because  Jesus said in Matthew 16:18 He would build the Church and the gates of hell would not prevail against, because He is a leader who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Therefore, changes in human leadership should never dismay us. 
• To be a man who does not allow his pride to disqualify him (1 Cor. 9:27).  One example of a proud man is one who allows criticism to arouse hostility and resentment in his heart that leads him to criticize the critic.  A man that understands that as long as He’s pleasing God, it doesn’t matter whom he’s displeasing.
• To be a man who’s willing to be an unpopular prophet rather than a popular leader.

Acid Test pt.8

(Acid test for spiritual leadership contd…)

• To be a man who has a guard set over his lips (Prov. 13:3).  He knows how to be silent about others, not to believe everything without discernment, and not to go on easily telling things.  Also, a man who keeps in strict confidence those things that need to be kept in strict confidence. 
• To be a man who can take the blame rather than share it, with a willingness to say: “The buck stops here.”
• To be a man of absolutes and of no compromise as Jesus said you are either with Me or against Me, you either gather or you scatter; you are of the Kingdom of Light or the kingdom of darkness.  Also, a man whom when God tests him, he comes forth as pure as gold.
• To be a man who trusts God to do the impossible according to Ephesians 3:20 and Jeremiah 33:3.  So God alone can get the glory (1 Cor. 10:31).  That type of man is at his best in difficult circumstances.
• To be a man who learns from his failures as he makes honest mistakes.  Most major Bible characters were men who failed at some point but who refused to continue lying in the dust. 

Acid Test pt.7

(Acid test for spiritual leadership contd…)

• To be ready for loneliness, as often times you have no one but God.  The Prophets were lonely men.  Paul was a lonely man (2 Cor. 1:15).
• To be a man who can handle fatigue and lean not to make decisions in the midst of that fatigue (2 Cor. 4:15-16).
• To be a man who knows how to handle praise appropriately as people give it, so that it does not exult him; so that when those same people bring criticism, it does not bring him low.  Because a man who can handle rejection understands how Jesus felt when He said:  “His own received Him not.”  (Gal. 1:10;  1 Cor. 4:3-4)
• To be a man who loves the flock enough to discipline the when it is called for (Matt. 18;  Heb. 12).
• To be a man who surrounds himself with the council of spiritual people and therefore listens to the right voices.

Acid Test pt. 6

(Acid test for spirital leadership contd…)

• To be a man that has counted the cost of leadership, knowing that a high price is to be paid if you’re going to please man instead of God.  Many churches are stalemated today because the leaders, instead of giving strong leadership, submit to a form of blackmail from the rear, or the minority.  No minority or reactionary group should be allowed to determine the policy for the whole when the consensus of the spiritual leaders is in the opposite direction. 

     *I’ll let this one stand alone.  Feel free to leave your comments.